The pattern is, of course, the popular Hemlock Ring Blanket knit with the lovely Cascade Eco Wool. I did 2 more repeats of the feather and fan pattern than the original pattern and used almost 2 skeins.

I think of the flower in the middle as a symbol of life and hope, the fans radiating outward as waves of sadness and of joy- coming at different times, but merging together into one complex emotion.

Nate wrote a beautiful poem a few hours after Fyn left the world. They want the world to know that he was loved so I don’t think they’d mind if I posted some of it here.

i would have torn down mountains for just that hour,
but You gave it, You just gave it,
the most beautiful gift,
the last thing i wanted,
so much i was afraid to ask.
but You knew.
oh my God, You knew!
that fear i had,
prowling about my heart,
terrifying in its strength and closeness;
that beast you slayed for me
when they placed him in my wife’s loving arms
to die so near the hearts of us
who loved him most and knew him best,
save only You.

So are buttons- lots and lots of buttons. I bought these from an etsy seller and got them in the mail yesterday. Who knew buttons would make me so happy? Why does the simple act of sorting little buttons make me so happy? I loved sorting them and happy to find another use for my cute deviled egg tray. It makes a fabulous button tray! They can’t stay there forever but for now they make a nice centerpiece on the table. Or they would if there weren’t so much other stuff on the table right now. Look for them soon on my coin purses in my etsy shop!

Another happy thing on my dining room table are my little seedlings! This cute little guy (girl?) is a baby cucumber. I also have tomatoes and basil sprouting. I can’t wait to get my garden planted! It hailed last weekend, though, so it’ll take some time for the ground to warm up. In the meantime, they’re happy on the table.

My next happy thing to share is also a little sad. Sesame stated walking!! She’s not too proficient yet but she definitely prefers it to crawling. She’s not even 11 months old and I’m a little sad that she’s growing up so fast. She seems so big (yet tiny at the same time!) when she’s walking across the room.

I’m also really happy that I’m done knitting my Hemlock Ring Blanket. I thought I was going to die of boredom while I was binding off but I survived. It just needs a little embellishing and then I can give it away. It’s gorgeous but I’ll be glad to be finished with it.

I was on the front page of Etsy a week ago! I missed seeing it but luckily someone put up a screen capture on Flickr so I was able to see it. There’s my coffee sleeve in the top right corner! It’s like I’m famous. Or was for an hour or so.

That’s it for now. I hope you all have lots of happy things too!

The Hemlock Ring Blanket is coming along nicely, no thanks to a big mistake and the ripping back of 9, yes 9, rows. I was quite cranky for a good hour following that event but I’m over it and I’m almost back to where I was pre-ripping. It still looks like a ball of mush in a photo. I also started a sweater for Mike but the stockinette sleeve of a man’s sweater is pretty boring in a picture too. I’ll show it off when it gets a little more interesting.

Woolies tagged me for a meme. I don’t do these very often but here goes:

4 JOBS
Nature Day Camp Director (super fun!!), Guide Dog trainer in training (the total opposite of fun), Biology Lab Instructor,Naturalist for an outdoor school
FAVORITE MOVIES …
I’m not really a movie person and I rarely watch a movie more than once, even if I really like it. I don’t think I have 4 favorites.
4 PLACES I’VE BEEN..
El Salvador, Japan, Europe (I know it’s not really one place), Guatemala
4 PLACES I’VE LIVED…
Portland, Placerville, CA, Napa, CA and Sevilla, Spain
4 FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOWS…
Six Feet Under, House, Project Runway, The Gilmore Girls
4 FAVORITE RADIO PROGRAMS …
I’m an NPR junkie and that’s pretty much all I listen to. I love This American Life and Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me the most although you can’t go wrong with Morning Edition or All Things Considered. Oh, and I love Science Friday on Talk of the Nation too. That’s 5, isn’t it? I’m not good at staying in the lines.
4 FAVORITE FOODS…
Apple pie but only if it’s homemade, curry with rice, veggies and tofu, pesto made with basil from my garden and homemade ice cream. Of course, not all at once. Well, actually, apple pie ice cream is pretty darn good.
4PLACES I’D RATHER BE….
I’m really happy where I am, physically and emotionally. I really wouldn’t rather be anywhere else. Of course, a vacation would always be welcome but I’m not one to just sit on a beach somewhere.

For making it this far, I’ll leave you with a picture of my succulant that is finally flowering after 2 years. It makes me happy.

I’ve had a rough few weeks. Some good things happened- we’ve had some beautiful sunny days, Mike had a birthday, Sesame is saying mama and dada a lot more, Mike’s mom and brother came to visit and we all had a good time despite some rain and Voodoo selling out of all their donuts.

On March 15, my friends Brooke and Nate celebrated the birth of their baby boy, Fyn, but they only spent one precious hour with him before he died. His service was last weekend and it was horrible and beautiful. Gut wrenchingly sad but full of joy and hope as well. I’m really sad for them and I’ve cried a lot and tried to wrap my head around the horrible details but I really can’t. The only thing left to do is to knit something.

Before my baby was born, I had a miscarriage that left me really sad. Afterwards, I really wanted to knit something for a baby even though I didn’t have one of my own. I decided to knit the frost flowers and leaves shawl, but with dk yarn and make it a blanket. It would be about the size of a baby blanket but I could use it too. Knitting it helped me look to the future when I would have a baby and I took it to the hospital when sesame was born and I love snuggling us up in it when I’m nursing her.

Because of that experience, I want to knit Nate and Brooke, and their daughter, Adele, a blanket. I don’t want it to take forever (like my FF&L seemed to) so I’m knitting the Hemlock Ring Blanket (ravelry). I hope that it brings them some comfort and knitting it helps me feel like I’m doing something, even though there’s nothing really to do other than be sad.